zoe
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Post by zoe on Jul 21, 2011 15:29:17 GMT -5
Amy, I think in this pace you would be a declared the winner anyway. Mah, I wish I had your talent and your ability to develop any subject and your productivity. I envy you!!! I can work diligently on a full length novel, every day for months, but I can't gather enough determination to work on a different subject/setting every day even if my life would depend on it ;-) (I had this problem when attending a creative writing class few years ago, when we were required to present a short story once a week. And you are talking to me about day to day???!!!!!!!!!! )
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zoe
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Post by zoe on Jul 21, 2011 6:17:26 GMT -5
Where is the story? I took a look at it when on my way out, and now I'm back and the thread is gone (not that I knew what my comments would be, except that the story is haunting me for a few hours now )
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zoe
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Post by zoe on Jul 21, 2011 6:13:22 GMT -5
Martin, I miss your prose :-)
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zoe
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Post by zoe on Jul 21, 2011 6:11:17 GMT -5
Wait, what was this game about? <feeling very dump for asking only now>
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zoe
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Post by zoe on Jul 21, 2011 6:06:31 GMT -5
There are and always will be die-hard readers in this world. The media might change and hold-in-your-hand books may go the way of the coo-coo but the human appetite for well written literature, with all of its gory description, will always be in need. Totally agree! But I think we will have to adjust to the lack of patience of the majority. With a little less description <coming from someone who loooooves to describe things to death >
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zoe
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Post by zoe on Jul 21, 2011 0:51:15 GMT -5
Good point! Lily, thank you so much for all your advice. I appreciate it so!!!
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zoe
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Post by zoe on Jul 21, 2011 0:46:15 GMT -5
Same here I always tried to avoid the boring "said", and I also used to tag and describe everything I can. I I'm not so sure about the first, maybe it's just a recent fashion. No doubt sometimes you have to vary with something more than "said". But with no tagging and less description issue I pretty agree now. People don't have as much patience as they had before TV; there is no way to force them to bear with our urge to describe anymore;)
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zoe
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Post by zoe on Jul 20, 2011 10:15:38 GMT -5
Amy, you paint this so vividly!!! I went crazy over: "Saturday morning's, while most children were watching Smurf's with syrup on their breath from a pancake hangover,"
What a wonderful image! lol ;D and that one: "So there began a yelling match between a resentful wife and a checked out husband, where threats of leaving never to return..."just my sis-in-law life
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zoe
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Post by zoe on Jul 20, 2011 10:05:57 GMT -5
Hey, bubblegum, welcome I've read this piece with interest. I would love to add to Amy's comments, as I also had some problem with the "telling" style of the beginning (I was pointed out the same problem with my MS some months ago, it's not something that is easy to catch). For excample the first para: "Kayle peered at the corpse writhing at her feet. Blood trickled over it's face, accumulating in a lake beneath it's teeth. She stood erect, her porcelain face now stained with red."
You relate those events coldly, "tellingly" - she did, it was, she did again. I think it can be re-written ( don't tell me on WN, lol) a little bit: "Kayle peered at the corpse writhing at her feet, watching the blood trickling over its face, creating a small lake beneath its teeth." Just a suggestion Another issue is tagging. I used to diversify with the tagging too, but it seems like the general opinion is to use more of the conservative "said" and "asked" and less "informed, shrugged, demanded". Or no tagging at all. Think how it can be sound with less tagging and a little trimmed: "Don't worry, it's just a bottom feeder." Trevor slouched against the ashen bricked building; his spiked, black hair yet to lose its cement-like gel.
Kayle's cheeks turned a bright shade of red.
"How can you say that?" she demanded, her eyes ablaze.
Trevor shrugged and a waft of cigarette smoke bellowed from his full, luscious lips."I'm not an expert, just someone who went through the same learning process just a few months ago
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zoe
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Post by zoe on Jul 20, 2011 9:31:56 GMT -5
I remember that one from WN. Read it again with the same enjoyment! there is something about your writing, something so vivid and pleasantly real.
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zoe
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Post by zoe on Jul 20, 2011 9:20:00 GMT -5
Richard, thank you so much for all those links. So helpful!!!
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zoe
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Post by zoe on Jul 20, 2011 9:13:25 GMT -5
Thank you for the links, Richard! (used the first and read the second with a great interest)
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zoe
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Post by zoe on Jul 20, 2011 8:16:39 GMT -5
Thank you, Lily. It's a great idea! So far I kept well away, as, through my research years, I've encountered not a few unenthusiastic responses. Some people were not thrilled with a foreigner digging into their historical roots (rightfully so; as much as I'm trying, I may interpret this or that event wrongly, being raised in an utterly different background). And I really didn't want to offend the descendants of the people/nations I cared so much about:)) But maybe now I really should care more for the product Thank you for the great idea
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zoe
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Post by zoe on Jul 19, 2011 14:58:00 GMT -5
Thanks, I most certainly will! This forum gave me MINES of information so far (yesterday I went through the list of the indie reviewers, you posted. So amazingly helpful!!! Thank you)
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zoe
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Post by zoe on Jul 19, 2011 14:52:49 GMT -5
I agree with you and Amy. I was on that fence until very recently, warmed up by this e-pub option as the last resort. Then, for some reason, an opinion of a one traditionally published writer (on seminar on WN) tipped my balance. Then this forum served the final, knocking me off my comfortable perch up there on the fence. I hope I've made a correct decision. But what Amy said is the exact reason why I'm agitated and nervous instead of being pleased. It's not like getting published a traditional way. It's not a triumph, but just a beginning I guess .
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