|
Post by martinshaw on Jul 20, 2011 15:31:57 GMT -5
An idle cane clacking rails, makes a distant tock tick,
while pressed apple throats in sombre streets wait for sweet poesy sisters.
Calloused hands of elephant skin etch butterfly silhouettes on feature walls,
and in the shadows a strawberry tart conducts Merlot symphonies for rags and bones.
|
|
raemorgan
Member
Posts: 105
Joined: June 2011
|
Post by raemorgan on Jul 20, 2011 17:00:44 GMT -5
That sent shivers up and done my spine.
|
|
avery
Member
Posts: 132
Joined: June 2011
|
Post by avery on Jul 20, 2011 20:03:24 GMT -5
This is one of your best Marty.
|
|
|
Post by amylou on Jul 20, 2011 20:09:10 GMT -5
In my opinion it's not one of his best, but it's very good! I really love your use of language, it's so damn lyrical and elegant. Stop it! But thanks for posting something, it's been too long! Amylou
|
|
|
Post by martinshaw on Jul 21, 2011 4:06:06 GMT -5
I banquet on me as I self destruct.
My return to powers has no former glory
tHANKS ALL
|
|
zoe
Member
Posts: 106
Joined: June 2011
|
Post by zoe on Jul 21, 2011 6:13:22 GMT -5
Martin, I miss your prose :-)
|
|
|
Post by bubblegum91 on Jul 21, 2011 7:57:53 GMT -5
I honestly don't know how to 'critique' a poem, I haven't written one since year 7! But I do like this. But maybe I'm not the person to ask
|
|
|
Post by martinshaw on Jul 21, 2011 16:00:03 GMT -5
Thanks all! It's missing something I know? Perhaps its not really that good?
Zoe... I miss your toes
|
|