Is this "rape victim blaming?"

[jacklawson]

lhttp://www.care2.com/causes/pa-liquor-board-takes-down-rape-victim-blaming-ad.html

[BlueLotus]

Sadly yes I do think that the ad is placing the blame squarely on the shoulders of the vic.

We should all be able to run around stark naked and have nothing to worry about.

We should be cultivating a culture where doing that act is a huge no no rather than teaching people NOT to put themselves in a situation where they will be taken advantage of.

The Vic is never at fault. Be they impaired, dressed like a hooker, or otherwise. The rapist knows he is doing something really horrible -- Period.

[Lily]

Here's a clickable link for the article Jack is referring to:
www.care2.com/causes/pa-liquor-board-takes-down-rape-victim-blaming-ad.html

Also, another article about the same story. This incident seems to have created quite a stir.
campusprogress.org/articles/penn._liquor_control_board_pulls_ad_blaming_women_for_being_sexually_a/

[BlueLotus]

Dec 15, 2011 18:26:59 GMT -5 Lily said:

This incident seems to have created quite a stir.

As it should... So things like this news.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474980913699 can be avoided in the future.

Rape is not a joke, it is not funny, and it is not something to laugh at.
EVER.

As a rape victim myself I can attest to the untold number of lingering nightmares, the shame, the stigma, and the countless hrs on a therapist's couch trying to screw my head back on right side up.

After the crime, I was subjected to brutal invasive questioning, outright slander by the rapist, and endured years of teasing because I accused a very public figure of something so horrid.

It ended with my attempting suicide three times... which made things even worse because, now not only was I failure in my life, but I was so stupid and inept that I failed at trying to end my life as well.

I would not wish that kind of pain, pain that 16 years later is still present and pops up from time to time, on my worst day for my worst enemy.

There is a reason I sleep with a gun inches from me now, and I keep a big honkin can of Military grade mace in my purse, on my key chain, and on the bedside table at all times.

I can hit a moving target in the dark with out my glasses on and get a kill shoot 9/10 times. that 1 remaining time you will most def know you are messin' with the wrong Chicky.

[Lily]

So sorry this happened to you BL, and the scars after this type of violation never seem to heal, at least not completely. I recall hearing that one of the first clients of a local Rape Relief Centre was a woman in her seventies. She had been raped some 50 years earlier, and had never told a living soul. We can never know another's private hell.

[BlueLotus]

These are some guesstimates as to numbers. We will never know the full extent because more often than not these acts go unreported.
www.rainn.org/statistics

[bubblegum91]

So true, I, myself was abused as a child by a family friend. It haunts me to this day, and I trust absolutely no one because of it. Not even my closest friends. When society begins blaming the adult victims of rape, the child victims often hold themselves to that standard. If society blames the clothing of the victim, or the fact she complied, it makes kids think that what happened to them wasn't really rape, because to a child, adults are very powerful and if that's enough to excuse them, then it's enough to excuse what happened to the kid. Plus, children have a way of blaming themselves for a lot of things. It took me 3 years to convince my friend she had nothing to do with her parents getting divorced.
I just wish society would realize, they aren't only placing stigma on women, and many men, they are also sending the wrong messages to kids, abused or otherwise.

[BlueLotus]

Well said.
Stay strong Bubblegum, you are never alone.
We are out there.

[jacklawson]

There is always 2 sides

falserapesociety.blogspot.com/2010/03/young-man-falsely-accused-of-rape-tells.html

[Richard]

Dec 16, 2011 14:30:08 GMT -5 jacklawson said:

There is always 2 sides

falserapesociety.blogspot.com/2010/03/young-man-falsely-accused-of-rape-tells.html

Yeah, it is bad anyway you look at it.

I know a girl who is very friendly in nature, willing to help people, who was raped by her neighbor because he knew this about her. The lawyer said it was not a strong case because of how it happened, and she would have probably went through hell going to trial.

She suffers the cost of being a good person.

I also knew a co-worker who was accused of rape by his step daughter. The thing with being a guy accused of this, is a stigma of guilty until proven innocent by your peers. (not a court of law)

He ended up getting a divorce, and the girl admitted to lying because she did not like him and wanted her mother to divorce him.

He also quit his job, a very good job, and moved out of the area because of that stigma.

[raemorgan]

It used to be that women and kids were never believed, now its gone full circle the other way. A womans word has become like the holy grail and they flaunt their rapes like it entitles them to sainthood. Well some women do lie about being raped and so do kids.www.ipt-forensics.com/journal/volume6/j6_2_4.htm

[BlueLotus]

Yes that is true. It is sad, no matter how you look at it.
It would be nice if rape, and sexual abuse had never occurred in the first place.

Many lives have been ruined on both ends of the scale, but for the people who really were abused being believed is not a given. Their whole life is dissected, if they had sex with anyone ever, how many partners did they have. Did they drink or use drugs? economic standing etc etc.

That is why so many cases never get reported. By far the ones that do get reported are never taken to court for lack of evidence, or lax investigations by the people we pay to protect us.

It is not a joking matter, either to accuse someone of the act, or to joke about someones abuse.

The whole thing makes me very sad indeed.

[Lily]

"Nearly 1 in 5 women raped in their lifetime, new U.S. study shows"

www.freep.com/article/20111215/NEWS07/112150575/Nearly-1-in-5-women-raped-in-their-lifetime-new-U-S-study-shows?odyssey=mod|mostview

[kelly]

IMHO rapists convicted a 2nd time should be castrated.

[BlueLotus]

Well you are nicer than I am... I'm of the first offence drown their sorry butts mind set.

Same goes for baby molesters and child abusers

(real abuse not punishment for behaving badly)

But then again I am also for potential parents screening, drug testing, mental health check ups and parenting classes etc.

I get sick to death of crack heads spitting out kids then watching them mistreat and ignor those kids until the children grow up to become headlines on the nightly news.
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