battling the demon drink

[jacklawson]

May be this isn't the right place for this but has anyone here ever had a drinking problem and if so what did you do about it?

[greg]

I had a drinking problem in my young and crazy days that was solved by attending AA.

[BlueLotus]

This might be a bit late but... My husband is an active Drinker, a big one...
With 2 dui's to his name a repoed car, and a car accident that left is arm a mangled mess...
The first step is to know you have a problem, Now I don't know if it is you with the issue or just someone you care for. Until the drinker is ready to admit they have issues no one can help them. They have to hit rock bottom 90% of the time before they will even consider it.
For DH it was after I was released from the hospital I had, had reconstructive surgery on my shattered elbow. I was home hopped on up pain meds and not aware of much aside from the fact that I hurt pretty badly. He came pouring in at midnight, reeking of scotch and I was so upset... my arm had swollen up and become extremely red I was running a very high fever and had not been able to drive myself back to the ER.

My girlfriend showed up about 5 mins after he did and slapped the dog dooey out of him. Drove me to the ER where I was admitted with a MRSA infection. He came to see in the hosp but I had told them I did not want him in my room... I was so upset Understandably so.

to make a long story short e promised to work on his issues, and failed... this kept going on until I had finally had enough I bought a one way bus ticket out of town packed what I could carry and walked out the door.

He showed up at my grandparents a few weeks later with his AA card and I agreed to move back in.

It is not easy and he spends more time off the wagon than on it but he is making an effort, Hopefully whom ever it is that you care about has someone they care about to help right their path. It is a lot easier to walk that road with support and love than it is to walk it alone.

[Lily]

Thanks for sharing this, Bluelotus. Your husband is fortunate to have someone like you. I wish him a speedy recovery.

[Richard]

Aug 16, 2011 12:58:19 GMT -5 BlueLotus said:

This might be a bit late but... My husband is an active Drinker, a big one...
With 2 dui's to his name a repoed car, and a car accident that left is arm a mangled mess...
The first step is to know you have a problem, Now I don't know if it is you with the issue or just someone you care for. Until the drinker is ready to admit they have issues no one can help them. They have to hit rock bottom 90% of the time before they will even consider it.
For DH it was after I was released from the hospital I had, had reconstructive surgery on my shattered elbow. I was home hopped on up pain meds and not aware of much aside from the fact that I hurt pretty badly. He came pouring in at midnight, reeking of scotch and I was so upset... my arm had swollen up and become extremely red I was running a very high fever and had not been able to drive myself back to the ER.

My girlfriend showed up about 5 mins after he did and slapped the dog dooey out of him. Drove me to the ER where I was admitted with a MRSA infection. He came to see in the hosp but I had told them I did not want him in my room... I was so upset Understandably so.

to make a long story short e promised to work on his issues, and failed... this kept going on until I had finally had enough I bought a one way bus ticket out of town packed what I could carry and walked out the door.

He showed up at my grandparents a few weeks later with his AA card and I agreed to move back in.

It is not easy and he spends more time off the wagon than on it but he is making an effort, Hopefully whom ever it is that you care about has someone they care about to help right their path. It is a lot easier to walk that road with support and love than it is to walk it alone.

You must be a helluva woman to stand by your husband when the common thing to do is to walk. It takes a unique person to see things from both sides, especially when one of those sides has virtually no defense.

Looks like you've been through it.

Hopefully time will yield the results you hope for.

I personally know of a young couple, mid-twenties, who had reversed roles. She was drinking from dusk 'till dawn. Only married a couple years. No children, no problems, but no closeness, no feelings toward one another after a few years of distance.

It ended in divorce and neither one really cared.

[BlueLotus]

Aug 16, 2011 13:21:04 GMT -5 Richard said:

[
You must be a helluva woman to stand by your husband when the common thing to do is to walk. It takes a unique person to see things from both sides, especially when one of those sides has virtually no defense.

Looks like you've been through it.

Hopefully time will yield the results you hope for.

I personally know of a young couple, mid-twenties, who had reversed roles. She was drinking from dusk 'till dawn. Only married a couple years. No children, no problems, but no closeness, no feelings toward one another after a few years of distance.

It ended in divorce and neither one really cared.

Richard,
I don't think many people understand why I do what I do.
It is part religion and part knowing that deep down he is a wonderful human being.

When we met he was funny, active, kind, etc etc...
When his sister died he just kinda fell apart.

We don't throw out children who have the flu and we don't divorce someone because they have cancer, I think of drinking as if it were any other illness... with determination and a bit of luck, a lot of tears, and even more love he can beat it.

My only regret is that I did not see that he was falling before he already in the hole, but there is no use in crying over the past.

if the OP knows someone or is the someone like this he needs to understand it is a long road indeed.

[Richard]

I understand, and I respect that.

I agree with your reasoning.

I was just pointing out that this is not such a common approach in the self-serving society we live in today.

I wish you both the best.

[Lily]

We live in a throw-away society. If something doesn't suit you, toss it out. That includes people. When we're young we think there will be so many others to step in to fill the space. Much better catches too. This is based on the premise that "men are like streetcars, miss one and there will be another along." Or, the "better fish in the ocean, than ever came out" one.

But as we grow older we realise this is not the case. There are actually very few people who will ever be special enough even to be a friend. The song is right: One IS the loneliest number. So if someone is special enough that you commit to them in marriage (or the equivalent) it's in your own better interests as well to stick with it.

Just my tuppence ha'penny worth for the day. I've now stashed the pulpit away.