Richard
Member
Posts: 610
Joined: July 2011
|
Post by Richard on Jul 23, 2011 13:00:57 GMT -5
Can you believe in me, after all that we’ve been through?
I don’t know where I stand. I don’t know what to do.
The troubles have come and gone, we’ve seen a lot along the way.
Experienced all the sorrow, worked for what remains.
I hold you in my arms at night. I look into your eyes.
The depth of your emotions, come as no surprise.
It’s just painful to see, truth staring back at me.
I’ve dealt with it myself. Now my hopes are on someone else.
The scales are unbalanced when you’re not here with me.
I struggle to keep my head held high, and save my sanity.
So when I saw you here this morning, the choice had just been made.
You’ll never fully realize, the heart that’s just been saved.
My reflection looks back each and every day.
It’s the struggle within, what can I say.
What doesn’t break me only makes me strong.
If it makes it right then I’ll be wrong.
Just stand by me in the days to come.
And rest assured you’re the only one...
This is not a personal experience, but a song I wrote some years ago.
|
|
|
Post by Aberrant Fantastic on Jul 23, 2011 13:22:55 GMT -5
I like it. I'm not very good at critiques, but I'll tell you I can definitely feel emotion in it. Strong words. Nice
|
|
|
Post by waterpoor on Jul 24, 2011 14:01:31 GMT -5
I think this one could be tightened up some. Could be a powerful narrative.
Just me idea. R.
|
|
Richard
Member
Posts: 610
Joined: July 2011
|
Post by Richard on Jul 24, 2011 14:39:01 GMT -5
I think this one could be tightened up some. Could be a powerful narrative. Just me idea. R. I'm sure it could as I am no poet. It was written about a dozen years ago and went along with guitar chords long forgotten.
|
|