Post by Lily on Aug 22, 2011 20:23:26 GMT -5
Here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --
"Do not turn upside down."
(well... a bit late?)
==========================
On Sainsbury's peanuts --
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
===========================
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
==========================
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding --
"Product will be hot after heating."
(....and you thought??.)
=======================
On a Sears hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
====================================
On a bag of Doritos --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
===========================
On a bar of Dial soap --
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be?)
============================
On some Swanson frozen dinners --
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
========================
On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
==============================
On Nytol Sleep Aid --
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because?)
==============================
On most brands of Christmas lights --
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)
==========================
On a Japanese food processor --
"Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
==============================
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On an American Airlines packet of nuts --
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)
===========================
On a Swedish chainsaw --
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?
===========================
On a child's Superman costume --
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents and legislators for this one.)
===========================
Now that you've, hopefully, smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread
the stupidity to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --
"Do not turn upside down."
(well... a bit late?)
==========================
On Sainsbury's peanuts --
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
===========================
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
==========================
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding --
"Product will be hot after heating."
(....and you thought??.)
=======================
On a Sears hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
====================================
On a bag of Doritos --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
===========================
On a bar of Dial soap --
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be?)
============================
On some Swanson frozen dinners --
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
========================
On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
==============================
On Nytol Sleep Aid --
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because?)
==============================
On most brands of Christmas lights --
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)
==========================
On a Japanese food processor --
"Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
==============================
On an American Airlines packet of nuts --
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)
===========================
On a Swedish chainsaw --
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?
===========================
On a child's Superman costume --
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents and legislators for this one.)
===========================
Now that you've, hopefully, smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread
the stupidity to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)
