Richard
Member
Posts: 610
Joined: July 2011
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Post by Richard on Jul 24, 2011 11:55:41 GMT -5
Winds of change breathing a life now remains. A past once gone now returns to give claim.
Justice will serve all of those who refrain. Can you stand near to the light of the flame?
You try and implore as a man from afar. A gift bestowed, then removed from the heart.
But here you are reaching to turn back the time. A brand new beginning is so hard to find.
Receive free and give free or so it’s been said. You hunger and thirst in a room full of bread.
Would you consider to make up your mind? Decisions in life can still be sublime.
Now is the time to take matters in hand. Build up your courage to make your last stand.
You must be a slave before you can be free. Dependent on others is one basic need.
Learn to let change be in friendship with you. Regardless o’ what others will then choose to do.
They won’t understand why you now act this way. Minds held in darkness will affect what they say.
Put on the full suit to shield you from harm. Don’t be discouraged you’ve come very far.
A little while longer and the end will be here. A trial by fire with no need to fear.
Take into heart that you’ve done what is right. Winds of change will be peaceful tonight.
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Post by waterpoor on Jul 24, 2011 12:05:32 GMT -5
The whole thing is worth "you hunger and thirst in a room full of bread. R.
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BlueLotus
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Posts: 587
Joined: August 2011
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Post by BlueLotus on Aug 12, 2011 1:23:23 GMT -5
not bad
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johnee
Member
no such self
Posts: 39
Joined: August 2011
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Post by johnee on Aug 18, 2011 20:09:10 GMT -5
hi, a quick comment. this is the first (and only) post i've read here so far. sounds like a bunch of self-improvement tips. where's the poetry? no rich images, no turns of phrase, snazzy sonics, etc. - only reminders of things more or less already obvious. too much parsley, not enough blue plate - although parsley is very good for you and i like it. but not here. maybe you want specifics? maybe i can give 'em to you. but the whole thing is kinda like a buzzing to me, swat.
john e
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Richard
Member
Posts: 610
Joined: July 2011
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Post by Richard on Aug 19, 2011 13:34:48 GMT -5
hi, a quick comment. this is the first (and only) post i've read here so far. sounds like a bunch of self-improvement tips. where's the poetry? no rich images, no turns of phrase, snazzy sonics, etc. - only reminders of things more or less already obvious. too much parsley, not enough blue plate - although parsley is very good for you and i like it. but not here. maybe you want specifics? maybe i can give 'em to you. but the whole thing is kinda like a buzzing to me, swat. john e Actually, I agree with you. I am no poet, and never put much effort into it. These are lyrics to a song. While they may rhyme, they are not necessarily poetry as they do not invoke the images you refer to.
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BlueLotus
Member
Posts: 587
Joined: August 2011
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Post by BlueLotus on Aug 19, 2011 14:54:49 GMT -5
Richard, I hear some bluesy type songstress belting this out. Someone with a rich velvety voice... Adele perhaps? do you write music? Not lyrics but the actual sheet music, if you do it might be worth it to write that as well and tweak it so they mesh properly.
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