Love is a hurricane; Meet me in the middle

[grosse]

I look at you and see beauty
I look at you and see perfection
I look at you and see him with you
I look at you and realize it may never be
You look at me and see
A friend

I want to tell you I would treat you so much better
If you gave me a shot
I'd show you what it's like to laugh
I'd show you what it's like to live
Most importantly, I'd teach you how to love.


I can't do any of that
Unless you let me in
I know I have to let you go
But just know that you don't have to walk this path alone
Let me be there with you when the sun falls out of the sky
Let me be there with you when the ambulance goes racing by
Let me be there when you are ready to cry
But no matter what I'll always be there when you're ready to smile.


I want you to be right next to me no matter the situation
You are the reason for my star gazed look


Love is a hurricane
Meet me in the middle


But I had my shot
It's tearing me apart that I missed my shot
It's gotten to the point that I'm pourin out my heart and soul on a simple piece of paper
Even though I know it's not gonna happen
All I can do is dream
About you and me
About me and you
About what we could be
What we should be
Most importantly, what we're not.


You gotta step back at some point in life
And take it into perspective
You have to know you're making the right decision
To put you one step ahead of everyone else
Now you, you believe you made the right one
But I'm trying my hardest to show you that you are wrong
So If you want to know what I'm going to do
I'll tell you what my decision is

For me my best decision is chase our Hurricane.


Love is a hurricane.
Meet me in the middle



This is my first piece in awhile and I just let my mind do the typing after the first bit.
This is about a girl who has recently become my best friend and has stolen my heart without knowing it.

Any thoughts?

[bubblegum91]

cool lyrics. it is lyrics right? maybe the 3rd last line simply change ir from "For me my best decision is chase our Hurricane." to "to chase our hurricane" or maybe "my best decision it to chase our hurricane."
But that's just me. What do I know about lyrics? lol

[avery]

I'm no expert on poetry but I'd say this has potential. I agree with Bubblegum about the 3rd last line.

[jacklawson]

Writing whatever you feel like with no rhyme or rhythm does not a poem make.

[grosse]

Being an ass does not a funny guy make.

[BlueLotus]

OK guys lets all be nice to one another.
There are many forms of poetry.
We are all free to express ourselves in this area, but lets keep it polite please.
We value everyone the same.

[janecampbell]

I've always respected those who can compose poetry. It's not necessarily the same as writing a short story or novel. Nevertheless, this poem did have potential. I probably would've cut it down a tad. Now I'm no critic, this is my own opinion, of course.

Good luck....

Jane

[artfulhelix]

I have to say I have seen some poems that are 3, 4, even 5 pages long before. I also happen to prefer poems in free form, which is what you have here. That's what its called when every line dose not rhyme with the one before or after it. It is my preferred form for writing poetry as well. This dose have some real potential.

I look at you and see beauty
I look at you and see perfection
I look at you and see him with you
I look at you and realize it may never be
You look at me and see
A friend


you do this on several parts, and its not that its bad. It is just that doing it so many times feels redondant after a bit, but not so much that I didn't want to read it, or didn't like it. You could reward it a bit, so it doesn't feel redondant like that. But to tell the hole truth I love it eather way.