Post by skmattso on Aug 2, 2011 1:24:04 GMT -5
Heeeey. So, I'm new here, and though I'd post the first chapter of something I'm monkeying around with here and there. Its a fantasy piece, the chapters aren't very long, and the dialoge may be kind of chunky (I'm not that great at writing, this is just something I do as...a hobby, I suppose?). Anyways, I'd love some input (even if its bad, to help me fix mistakes I may make). If I were to give you any sort of heads up before reading, its a bit like Harry Potter, I guess. Crazy, mystical, strange, yet fun and enticing. Thats kind of what I'm going for. Hope you guys like it.
Chapter One
Enter Crimson Fang
"You know, it is said that each person in the world is unique, all with different faces, personalities, and futures. Some people grow up to be doctors, soldiers, the possibilities are staggering. Though, what about someone who doesn't seem to have a purpose? No solid interests or preferences. No goals or ideals. I've been living this way ever since I was young, when one day my parents mysteriously vanished, with nothing but a bank account, which strangely always seems to refill, to keep me alive. Don't get me wrong, I actually have a decent sum of money, enough to put me through college and more. But even with this tremendous head start into the world...I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing..."
"This isn't time to be dozing off, Adam. You have your finals next week! Pay attention!" The professor slowly walked away, after swatting some fly with the newspaper he was carrying. Adamus yawned, thinking to himself again. "Here I am. An ordinary college student, in this ordinary University classroom. I've been taking all general credits so far in my freshman year, which is just about over. I still have no idea what major to go into, or what interests me to even care enough to get one. My name is Adam. Ordinary brown hair, blue eyes. My clothes are blue because its the only color that feels...like it suits me. Why exactly, I have no idea, but all my shirts, jeans, whatever I wear is typically blue. Not even a turquoise or baby blue, just a bland blue color. Hm. I sure b!tch a lot," he pondered.
The bell rang, and Adam awoke from his uneventful daydream, and he strolled outside the classroom, watching people walk by. That was his final class to be today, and he didn't have anywhere else to be, so he yawned and started to head back home. He overheard a bunch of his classmates talk about that new movie 'Donkey Balls', some weird movie where a bunch of dudes go around and perform various stunts at the cost of harming their bodies, and somehow make a profit out of it. He didn't chime in, because he didn't exactly care too much. After high school, the few friends he had went their separate ways, and he hadn't seen them ever since their last summer before college. Yup. He lived a delightfully boring life of solitude, strolling by as life rushed past him.
Adam made his way to the exit, opening the doors slowly, being temporarily blinded by the sun as he walked out. Before he closed the door behind him, however, he heard an explosion erupt in the hallway behind him. As he turned to look behind him, a girl ran into him as she tried to rush out, knocking them both over and falling down a few stairs. The girl landed on top of him, rubbing her head as she slowly rose up. Adamus held the back of his head as he sat up, looking at who hit him. A girl in relatively tarnished clothes some would discribe as 'rags' rubbed her forhead gently as she looked around. She had long golden blonde hair, and red...red eyes. "Red eyes?," he thought. "People don't usually have red eyes, do they?" The girl noticed her position over him and gritted her teeth angrily. "Watch where you're-...you...you have a strange scent to you. How weird. I've never smelled something so..." Adam moved her away and got up slowly. "Yeah, because that's completely not creepy," Adam responded. The girl stared at him for a moment, then realized what was going on once again, and shoved him out of the way as she ran through the courtyard.
Suddenly, another girl burst through the door, only this time the girl was riding on a broom, hovering in the air. This was another oddly dressed woman, wearing some sort of strange, possibly cultish green robe. She blew her short black hair out of her eyes, and her gaze quickly met with Adam. "Hey, kid! Did you see a girl with red eyes just run by here?" She said with a panicy tone. Adam was stunned. He had never seen anyone fly before. Sure, a helicopter, a plane, maybe even a jet pack. But a friggin' broom? That isn't exactly something you see every day. "Y-y-you're flying?!" He managed to spew out. The girl hit her forehead with her palm. "Answer me, dumbass! Did you see a girl with red eyes or not?!" Adam nodded and pointed towards the courtyard, and the random flying girl hovered up into the air on her broom. Before she left, she took another glance over at Adam, with a strange look on her face. "Hey, are you...gah, never mind." She quickly flew away on her broom in the direction Adamus had instructed. Fancy that.
To clarify, there is a mystical force in the world generally defined as magic. Magic is a force that was rediscovered over five hundred years ago. There had always been conspiracies, ancient scrolls, and other mundane signs of magic existing in the world today, but no one understood how to use it. As time passed, its use became more well known, and even became commonly used in simple tasks. It became well known that everyone has a 'core' of their being in which mana, the coefficient of magic, is derived from. Everyone has different amounts of mana, and it can be fortified through practice and study. Not everyone prefers to use magic, but many find it useful in even household chores. Though even the most simple forms of magic require practice to understand, let alone use, so although magic is rather common in society, not too many people use it.
Today, magic is free to use but of course follows the same rules of society, making sure no one gets hurt through reckless usage. More or less, there are two political cultures, one of which desires the prosperity of science and technology, while the other wishes advance the world's magical prowess, and these two cultures compete with each other for dominance in the world. Many scientists think magic is unethical and obscene, thinking it can only be used for violence, but the advances in the world and many institutions who use magic to heal people of some illnesses and injuries beg to differ. Many believe the roots of magic are religious, originating from those who aspired to become like god, being able to influence the world around them, whether it be good or bad.
Adam himself, however, had never been able to use this thing called magic. He often practiced a lot as a child, but after several years of not being able to provide even an ounce of results, he gave up and declared himself incapable of using magic. Dumbfounded by the absurd scene he just found himself in, he decided to continue home. Fortunately for him, his house was relatively close to his college campus. The city he lived in was known for its numerous schools, so he never had to travel far to get to the school he was going to. He reached his home after a short walk, and pulled a key out from under the floor mat next to the front door. He opened the door and casually strolled in, dropping his school bag on the floor and flopping on the couch in the next room as he turned on the TV. His house was still pretty average. Some may call it above average, being so well furnished, but it was all the same to him. He had been living here for years all by himself. He cleaned it himself, cooked for himself, did his own laundry. It was a reasonably tidy place for just being inhabited by one young man.
A few hours passed, and Adam grew hungry. Not really up to the task of cooking, he decided to get some food at the nearby convenience store. He strolled outside, crossing the street and turning the corner. He saw the sign 24/7, the name of the store he liked to visit for random snacks. As he approached the store, he noticed there wasn't really anyone around. The place he lived at wasn't the busiest part of the city, but there would at least be some people walking around and traversing the streets. He happened to notice a small group of people in the nearby alleyway. He glanced over to see three thug-like looking men surrounding a girl backed up against the wall. He stopped for a moment, and took a closer look, realizing the girl was the one who knocked him over on the way out of school earlier today. How cliche.
"Crap! What should I do? Should I help that girl? I doubt I could beat even one of those dudes, let alone three," Adam thought to himself. He over heard them talking as he continued to hide. "Yo baby, you are lookin' fiiine tonight!", said one of them. "Yo, how 'bout we head back to my place. It'll be much more fun 'dere." The three thugs continued to make other stereotypical sexual harassment comments and the girl simply stood there with a growing grin on her face. Just then, as the phone in Adam's pocket started ringing abruptly. (Crap! No one ever calls my cellphone, why right now?!) The thugs looked over to find the source of the noise, and noticed Adam struggling to turn the phone off. "Hey, what'cha doin' over 'dere, foo! You spyin' on us or somethin'?" One of them said. Adam was startled and started to consider running. "Oh, haha, noooo, of course not, I just happened to past by, and-" One of the thugs got real close to Adam, almost up to his face. "And what, you wanted to start somethin' with us or some shit? You wanna go?" Adam started to back away. "Oh, who me? Of course not! I was just..." The thug grinned slightly as he grabbed Adamus's shirt and pulled him closer. "Yo, boys, lets show this foo what happens when he plays 'round with the big kids!"
The thug turned around to meet eyes with his friends, but much to his surprise they were both already incapacitated on the ground. "W-what chu guys doin' sleepin' on the ground? Get up!" The red eyed girl glanced up at the thug, with that sinister grin still stuck to her face. "What did you do? I'll kill you, b!tch!" The thug picked up a pipe that was laying on the ground and rushed at the girl. Instinctively, Adam dashed forward and grabbed his arm as he swung the pipe. "Hurry up and run away!" The thug struggled and threw Adam to the ground. "Wut, you wanna die first?" The thug turned around and gripped the pipe tightly, preparing to bash Adam across the head. But before he could swing the pipe, the girl quickly creeped up behind him, sweeping his legs out from under him and followed up by punching him viciously in the stomach while he was in mid-air, smashing him into the ground.
The three thugs all stayed passed out on the ground, as Adam rubbed his head and stood back up. "W-wow....thats amazing. Are you a martial artist or something?" The girl looked at him with a nonchalant glance. "Hm. You're that boy from the school earlier. Fancy meeting you..." she said. "Ah, that's right. Are you a student there? Why was that other girl chasing you?" Adam inquired. The girl's grin quickly returned as she held her hand up and drew her index finger toward her, signaling him to follow. "You're an interesting fellow. Why don't you come with me. I'd like to thank you for helping me out." Adam slowly followed her down the alley way, timidly. "Oh, haha. I didn't really do anything. It was you who was awesome. I've never seen someone fight like that."
They walked for a minute or so, the alleyways getting darker as they progressed. Suddenly the girl stopped, and looked around. "Well then, looks like we're all alone now." Adam stepped back once, not sure what was about to happen. "Oh, yeah, it seems so. Uhm...why did you want to bring me here?" The girl slowly approached him, licking her lips. "You know, I can't quite put my finger on it. You smell so...tasty...but I cannot understand why." Adam stepped back again as she got closer. "Uhm...excuse me?" The girl lightly pressed him up against a wall, licking her lips again. "I just wanted to...'thank' you for your assistance earlier. You also distracted that annoying woman for me at the school." Adam felt strange, and was starting to sweat. "Er...who was that girl, anyway? She was flying and stuff." The girl looked annoyed for a second, then continued with her grin as she pressed her body up against his. "Oh, just some annoying hag who wouldn't leave me alone. Some people just can't mind their own business these days. But you...you're another story. You're so cute I could just...eat you...all...up." The girl leaned forward against Adam's chest, and licked his neck lightly.
Adam was starting to get really nervous. "Uhm, look, we really shouldn't be doing this." She looked at him, almost menacingly. "Aww, don't worry, honey. Biting necks is what I do." Adam's eye twitched breifly. "Ha...er...what are you, some kind of vampire?" He meant it as a bad joke, but he was surprised with the response. The girl moved her lips closer to his neck once more. "Heheh...Who knows..."
Chomp
End of Chapter One
(A final note: With that ending in mind, I very much hope no one thinks of Twilight when they read this, because of the vampire bit. Thats not what I'm going for at all. More of a Harry Potter feel, I guess, is more what I'm shooting for.)
Chapter One
Enter Crimson Fang
"You know, it is said that each person in the world is unique, all with different faces, personalities, and futures. Some people grow up to be doctors, soldiers, the possibilities are staggering. Though, what about someone who doesn't seem to have a purpose? No solid interests or preferences. No goals or ideals. I've been living this way ever since I was young, when one day my parents mysteriously vanished, with nothing but a bank account, which strangely always seems to refill, to keep me alive. Don't get me wrong, I actually have a decent sum of money, enough to put me through college and more. But even with this tremendous head start into the world...I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing..."
"This isn't time to be dozing off, Adam. You have your finals next week! Pay attention!" The professor slowly walked away, after swatting some fly with the newspaper he was carrying. Adamus yawned, thinking to himself again. "Here I am. An ordinary college student, in this ordinary University classroom. I've been taking all general credits so far in my freshman year, which is just about over. I still have no idea what major to go into, or what interests me to even care enough to get one. My name is Adam. Ordinary brown hair, blue eyes. My clothes are blue because its the only color that feels...like it suits me. Why exactly, I have no idea, but all my shirts, jeans, whatever I wear is typically blue. Not even a turquoise or baby blue, just a bland blue color. Hm. I sure b!tch a lot," he pondered.
The bell rang, and Adam awoke from his uneventful daydream, and he strolled outside the classroom, watching people walk by. That was his final class to be today, and he didn't have anywhere else to be, so he yawned and started to head back home. He overheard a bunch of his classmates talk about that new movie 'Donkey Balls', some weird movie where a bunch of dudes go around and perform various stunts at the cost of harming their bodies, and somehow make a profit out of it. He didn't chime in, because he didn't exactly care too much. After high school, the few friends he had went their separate ways, and he hadn't seen them ever since their last summer before college. Yup. He lived a delightfully boring life of solitude, strolling by as life rushed past him.
Adam made his way to the exit, opening the doors slowly, being temporarily blinded by the sun as he walked out. Before he closed the door behind him, however, he heard an explosion erupt in the hallway behind him. As he turned to look behind him, a girl ran into him as she tried to rush out, knocking them both over and falling down a few stairs. The girl landed on top of him, rubbing her head as she slowly rose up. Adamus held the back of his head as he sat up, looking at who hit him. A girl in relatively tarnished clothes some would discribe as 'rags' rubbed her forhead gently as she looked around. She had long golden blonde hair, and red...red eyes. "Red eyes?," he thought. "People don't usually have red eyes, do they?" The girl noticed her position over him and gritted her teeth angrily. "Watch where you're-...you...you have a strange scent to you. How weird. I've never smelled something so..." Adam moved her away and got up slowly. "Yeah, because that's completely not creepy," Adam responded. The girl stared at him for a moment, then realized what was going on once again, and shoved him out of the way as she ran through the courtyard.
Suddenly, another girl burst through the door, only this time the girl was riding on a broom, hovering in the air. This was another oddly dressed woman, wearing some sort of strange, possibly cultish green robe. She blew her short black hair out of her eyes, and her gaze quickly met with Adam. "Hey, kid! Did you see a girl with red eyes just run by here?" She said with a panicy tone. Adam was stunned. He had never seen anyone fly before. Sure, a helicopter, a plane, maybe even a jet pack. But a friggin' broom? That isn't exactly something you see every day. "Y-y-you're flying?!" He managed to spew out. The girl hit her forehead with her palm. "Answer me, dumbass! Did you see a girl with red eyes or not?!" Adam nodded and pointed towards the courtyard, and the random flying girl hovered up into the air on her broom. Before she left, she took another glance over at Adam, with a strange look on her face. "Hey, are you...gah, never mind." She quickly flew away on her broom in the direction Adamus had instructed. Fancy that.
To clarify, there is a mystical force in the world generally defined as magic. Magic is a force that was rediscovered over five hundred years ago. There had always been conspiracies, ancient scrolls, and other mundane signs of magic existing in the world today, but no one understood how to use it. As time passed, its use became more well known, and even became commonly used in simple tasks. It became well known that everyone has a 'core' of their being in which mana, the coefficient of magic, is derived from. Everyone has different amounts of mana, and it can be fortified through practice and study. Not everyone prefers to use magic, but many find it useful in even household chores. Though even the most simple forms of magic require practice to understand, let alone use, so although magic is rather common in society, not too many people use it.
Today, magic is free to use but of course follows the same rules of society, making sure no one gets hurt through reckless usage. More or less, there are two political cultures, one of which desires the prosperity of science and technology, while the other wishes advance the world's magical prowess, and these two cultures compete with each other for dominance in the world. Many scientists think magic is unethical and obscene, thinking it can only be used for violence, but the advances in the world and many institutions who use magic to heal people of some illnesses and injuries beg to differ. Many believe the roots of magic are religious, originating from those who aspired to become like god, being able to influence the world around them, whether it be good or bad.
Adam himself, however, had never been able to use this thing called magic. He often practiced a lot as a child, but after several years of not being able to provide even an ounce of results, he gave up and declared himself incapable of using magic. Dumbfounded by the absurd scene he just found himself in, he decided to continue home. Fortunately for him, his house was relatively close to his college campus. The city he lived in was known for its numerous schools, so he never had to travel far to get to the school he was going to. He reached his home after a short walk, and pulled a key out from under the floor mat next to the front door. He opened the door and casually strolled in, dropping his school bag on the floor and flopping on the couch in the next room as he turned on the TV. His house was still pretty average. Some may call it above average, being so well furnished, but it was all the same to him. He had been living here for years all by himself. He cleaned it himself, cooked for himself, did his own laundry. It was a reasonably tidy place for just being inhabited by one young man.
A few hours passed, and Adam grew hungry. Not really up to the task of cooking, he decided to get some food at the nearby convenience store. He strolled outside, crossing the street and turning the corner. He saw the sign 24/7, the name of the store he liked to visit for random snacks. As he approached the store, he noticed there wasn't really anyone around. The place he lived at wasn't the busiest part of the city, but there would at least be some people walking around and traversing the streets. He happened to notice a small group of people in the nearby alleyway. He glanced over to see three thug-like looking men surrounding a girl backed up against the wall. He stopped for a moment, and took a closer look, realizing the girl was the one who knocked him over on the way out of school earlier today. How cliche.
"Crap! What should I do? Should I help that girl? I doubt I could beat even one of those dudes, let alone three," Adam thought to himself. He over heard them talking as he continued to hide. "Yo baby, you are lookin' fiiine tonight!", said one of them. "Yo, how 'bout we head back to my place. It'll be much more fun 'dere." The three thugs continued to make other stereotypical sexual harassment comments and the girl simply stood there with a growing grin on her face. Just then, as the phone in Adam's pocket started ringing abruptly. (Crap! No one ever calls my cellphone, why right now?!) The thugs looked over to find the source of the noise, and noticed Adam struggling to turn the phone off. "Hey, what'cha doin' over 'dere, foo! You spyin' on us or somethin'?" One of them said. Adam was startled and started to consider running. "Oh, haha, noooo, of course not, I just happened to past by, and-" One of the thugs got real close to Adam, almost up to his face. "And what, you wanted to start somethin' with us or some shit? You wanna go?" Adam started to back away. "Oh, who me? Of course not! I was just..." The thug grinned slightly as he grabbed Adamus's shirt and pulled him closer. "Yo, boys, lets show this foo what happens when he plays 'round with the big kids!"
The thug turned around to meet eyes with his friends, but much to his surprise they were both already incapacitated on the ground. "W-what chu guys doin' sleepin' on the ground? Get up!" The red eyed girl glanced up at the thug, with that sinister grin still stuck to her face. "What did you do? I'll kill you, b!tch!" The thug picked up a pipe that was laying on the ground and rushed at the girl. Instinctively, Adam dashed forward and grabbed his arm as he swung the pipe. "Hurry up and run away!" The thug struggled and threw Adam to the ground. "Wut, you wanna die first?" The thug turned around and gripped the pipe tightly, preparing to bash Adam across the head. But before he could swing the pipe, the girl quickly creeped up behind him, sweeping his legs out from under him and followed up by punching him viciously in the stomach while he was in mid-air, smashing him into the ground.
The three thugs all stayed passed out on the ground, as Adam rubbed his head and stood back up. "W-wow....thats amazing. Are you a martial artist or something?" The girl looked at him with a nonchalant glance. "Hm. You're that boy from the school earlier. Fancy meeting you..." she said. "Ah, that's right. Are you a student there? Why was that other girl chasing you?" Adam inquired. The girl's grin quickly returned as she held her hand up and drew her index finger toward her, signaling him to follow. "You're an interesting fellow. Why don't you come with me. I'd like to thank you for helping me out." Adam slowly followed her down the alley way, timidly. "Oh, haha. I didn't really do anything. It was you who was awesome. I've never seen someone fight like that."
They walked for a minute or so, the alleyways getting darker as they progressed. Suddenly the girl stopped, and looked around. "Well then, looks like we're all alone now." Adam stepped back once, not sure what was about to happen. "Oh, yeah, it seems so. Uhm...why did you want to bring me here?" The girl slowly approached him, licking her lips. "You know, I can't quite put my finger on it. You smell so...tasty...but I cannot understand why." Adam stepped back again as she got closer. "Uhm...excuse me?" The girl lightly pressed him up against a wall, licking her lips again. "I just wanted to...'thank' you for your assistance earlier. You also distracted that annoying woman for me at the school." Adam felt strange, and was starting to sweat. "Er...who was that girl, anyway? She was flying and stuff." The girl looked annoyed for a second, then continued with her grin as she pressed her body up against his. "Oh, just some annoying hag who wouldn't leave me alone. Some people just can't mind their own business these days. But you...you're another story. You're so cute I could just...eat you...all...up." The girl leaned forward against Adam's chest, and licked his neck lightly.
Adam was starting to get really nervous. "Uhm, look, we really shouldn't be doing this." She looked at him, almost menacingly. "Aww, don't worry, honey. Biting necks is what I do." Adam's eye twitched breifly. "Ha...er...what are you, some kind of vampire?" He meant it as a bad joke, but he was surprised with the response. The girl moved her lips closer to his neck once more. "Heheh...Who knows..."
Chomp
End of Chapter One
(A final note: With that ending in mind, I very much hope no one thinks of Twilight when they read this, because of the vampire bit. Thats not what I'm going for at all. More of a Harry Potter feel, I guess, is more what I'm shooting for.)