Post by isurvived on May 22, 2012 10:16:10 GMT -5
Please give any honest critique. Also because I believe this novel is going to come short of suggested word count if you see somewhere that I can add that's not just wasted padding let me know that too. Thanks Annmarie
Three-year-old Lea could tell the moment grandma came to get her out of her crib from her afternoon nap that something wonderful was happening. Grandma was wearing a huge smile and when they went down the hall she could see her mother and father were dancing around the living room laughing and giggling.
Daddy picked her up and swung her in the air. “Well, Lea,” he said, “Looks like you’re going to be a big sister pretty soon.”
Lea had seen her aunts have babies and she knew they came from mommies’ tummies. “But Mommy’s not fat!” she blurted, making the grown ups laugh even harder.
“The baby God put in my tummy is too small to make me fat yet, but it is growing and I’ll be fat pretty soon,” Mommy said.
“Will I get to help take care of my brother, Mommy?” Lea asked.
“And how do you know its going to be a brother smarty pants?” daddy asked. “’Cause we already have one girl so its time for one boy. We have to take turns, right?!”
“Well, we’ll have to see what God gives us, honey. But yes, you can be My little helper.”
For the next several months the whole family was busy getting ready for the new baby. The guest room was changed into a nursery and decorated with jungle animals.
All of Lea’s baby things were brought down from the attic. Lea practiced getting bottles ready and changing diapers on her dollies.
Lea even gave up her crib and started sleeping in her big girl bed so the baby could use the crib. That was a scary thing to do and she was proud of herself for doing it.
Another scary thing was happening at the same time. Her mother was in bed much too often and she had stomach pains. Lea was told that there was nothing to be worried about but something felt terribly wrong.
Sometimes Mommy was so tired she would lie in Lea’s bed and take a nap. When she woke up and was feeling better Mommy would tell Lea Jesus stories. These were special times and Lea learned that Jesus was the Son of God and he had died for our sins so we could all live with him in Heaven one day. Her favorite story was when Jesus had taken a little boy’s lunch and fed 5000 people with it!
Feb. 15th, 1995, an exciting date! Mommy is going to find out if the baby is a girl or a boy! She is going to have a picture taken of the inside of her belly and then they will be able to tell.
Daddy, Mommy and Lea all load into the old Chevy and drive down to the hospital. Mommy had to drink lots of water so the pictures would be good. Because of this she complains when Daddy hits a bump because she has to go pee. This makes Lea giggle.
They get to the hospital and check in. A volunteer takes them to the ultrasound department (that’s where they take the pictures of your insides). When they get there Mommy leaves to put a hospital gown on. Lea looks around and sees lots of other pregnant women waiting to have pictures of their babies taken. Usually, Lea thinks, hospitals are sad places. Places where you go when you have an ear infection or tonsillitis or when you fall off the swing set and hurt your arm. But today the hospital is a happy place. Everyone is finding out if their baby is a girl or boy.
When Mommy comes back into the waiting room Mommy, Daddy and Lea play a game trying to guess what all the other Mommies are having. Mommy has already guessed that hers was a girl but Daddy and Lea think it is a boy. Who ever is wrong has to buy the ice cream for the others on the way home.
Finally it is their turn and they all go squeeze in the small room. Mommy hops up on the table and lies down. The Lady with the Eeyore smock on rubs some gooey stuff on Mommy’s tummy and then starts rubbing it in with a metal tube shaped thing. Suddenly you can see the baby on the TV screen! First its tiny head, then its hand. It’s sucking its thumb! Now the lady is showing Lea where its heart is beating, thump thump, thump. Lea is so excited she is jumping up and down. “Is it a boy? Is it a boy?” she squeals “Well, let’s get this little one to turn a little so we can tell,” replies the technician.
“It’s a boy,” she says but her voice has changed. It’s gotten lower and almost tired sounding. Lea hasn’t noticed it yet but Mommy and Daddy have.
“We win Daddy” “We win!” screams Lea.
“That’s great honey” says Daddy. “Mommy and Daddy have to talk to the nice lady now will you go sit with the kind ladies in the waiting room?”
One of the staff walks over to take her out of the room. Daddy didn’t sound happy. He sounded sad and scared. What was going on? All of a sudden the hospital didn’t feel like a happy place anymore.
Lea sat in the waiting room trying to be a big girl but she was scared and she didn’t know why. She needed her Mommy. She started to cry. The nice lady from behind the desk came and hugged her. It felt good but not as good as when Mommy did it. “Do you know any Jesus stories?” Lea asked. “They always help when I’m scared.” The lady smiled, put Lea on her lap and told her the story of Jesus and the children.
By the time the story was finished Daddy was back. Lea could tell he had been crying. “What’s wrong?” she screamed, throwing herself into her Daddy’s arms. “Why are you crying?” “Is my brother OK?” “Where’s Mommy?”
Daddy said “Mommy’s just changing clothes, she’ll be right back, your brother’s OK right now. The rest we’ll tell you when we get your ice cream OK Hon. Give Mommy and Daddy a minute.”
When Mommy came into the room they all walked quietly to the hospital garage. Lea was grasping Mommy’s hand so hard it hurt, but she was terrified to let it go. When they got to the car she refused to get into her car seat until Mommy agreed to sit in the backseat with her, holding her hand. They went to a drive-thru to get the ice cream, none of them really wanting to be in public and drove home.
When they got home they sat Lea on the sofa between them and tried to explain what they had just found out. “Lea,” Mommy said “You remember how tired Mommy’s been and the bad tummy aches Mommy’s been having?” Lea nodded dumbly.
“Well,” said Daddy, “The doctors have found out why Mommy’s been feeling that way. Do you remember when we showed you pictures of babies growing inside their Mommies and there was that long tube that went from the Mommy to the baby?” Lea nodded “The plasen something it feeds the baby.”
“That’s right” said mommy “The placenta well Mommy’s placenta is very sick. It has a disease called cancer. This cancer can make both Mommy and your little brother very sick”
“Can the Drs. make it all better?” Lea asked. “We don’t know” Mommy answered honestly.
“Will you…Will you.. you die? Whispered Lea.
“I might” Mommy replied as she hugged Lea and they both cried. “But if I do you know I’ll be waiting for you in Heaven”. “Lets pray now” Mommy said. Lea bowed her head and folded her hands. “Dear God”, Mommy said, “I ask you to heal me from this cancer if that be your will but if you have other plans for me I ask that you always remind Lea that I am in Heaven looking down and taking care of the daughter I love so much. Amen”
Lea felt so alone she just curled up in her Mommy’s lap, sucked her thumb (something she had stopped doing months ago) and fell asleep. Eventually Daddy took her and carried her gently to her bed for the night.
The months continued to go on and Mommy continued to grow, as did the baby inside her. On Mommy’s good days they would go shopping for boy clothes for the baby. After all, Lea was quick to point out he couldn’t wear her old clothes. Mommy would ’baby’ proof the house, which meant a lot of Lea’s big girl toys had to stay in her room where the baby couldn’t get them and hurt himself.
On her bad days Mommy would mostly stay in bed and read Lea stories or teach her how to read them herself. The bigger Mommy got the more bad days she had. Lea overheard her parents talking and knew that the cancer thing was growing on the placenta too.
On May 21st Lea turned four. Mommy, Daddy, and four of Lea’s friends all went out for pizza to celebrate. Mommy pretended it was one of her good days but Lea could tell she was very tired. Daddy called Grandma to come pick Mommy up and take her home. Lea didn’t have much fun after that and was glad when it was time for her friends to be picked up.
When she got home Mommy insisted they all come up to her room and open presents. Lea was happy with a new baby boy doll and some new books but Mommy was being really sneaky about the last gift and Lea was super curious about it. Finally Mommy gave it to her to open. Inside was a beautiful Scrapbook Mommy had made all about their life together, starting with the ultrasound picture that showed she was a girl! It had her baptism and all the birthdays and Christmases. It even had pictures of all of them playing out in the snow, Daddy and her playing catch. It was the best gift ever! Mommy seemed really happy for the first time in a long time. She spent a long time telling Lea the stories behind some of the pictures. “This was when you got your 1st tooth! And “This was your 2nd Halloween, you were the princess, I was the Fairy Godmother, and Daddy was the Prince.” Lea laughed and laughed. Daddy watched it all quietly but he was smiling too. Finally Lea went to bed with her book under her pillow to give her happy dreams.
As the last month of her pregnancy went by Mommy became completely bedridden. She was in pain almost all the time. Lea had begun to notice that the prayers had begun to shift from “make me well” to “take away the pain” and sometimes even a direct “take me home.” Lea knew that Mommy and Jesus were the smartest people in the world but she still didn’t want Mommy to go home without her!
Finally on June 7th Mommy told Daddy, “The baby’s coming! Everyone jumped into the car and hurried to the hospital. On the way there Daddy called Grandma to sit and wait with Lea while Daddy went in with Mommy. When they went into the hospital they all went up to Labor and Delivery. Grandma told Lea “That’s where the babies are born”.
Mommy was wheeled into a room with Daddy following so closely he seemed attached to the gurney. Grandma and Lea found a space in the waiting room.
A short time later Daddy came out and told Grandma it was going to be a C-section because they didn’t want to rupture the tumor on the placenta, so it should be any time now. Lea didn’t understand any of that except anytime now and she began to get excited.
What happened next terrified Lea. Bells were ringing announcements were screaming from the intercom and people pushing machines were piling into Mommy’s room while Daddy was fighting as they tried to push him out. She had never seen Daddy fight before, he was yelling words that Lea knew even Mommies and Daddies weren’t supposed to use. For a while you could hear doctors yelling orders and machines whining. Nurses ran in and out carrying bags of liquid. Lea thought she hated the noise more than she could ever hate anything. It made her feel smaller and smaller. But she was wrong. Suddenly all the noise stopped. People started walking out of the room. No one would make eye contact with the family. One lone Dr. walked up to Daddy and said “I’m sorry we did all we could. We lost them both.” The floor opened up in front of Lea and tried to swallow her up. She knew now that the silence was much worse.
Daddy slumped into the chair and cradled his head in his hands. Lea ran to Daddy with her hands up for a desperately needed hug “Are they dead?” she whispered.
Daddy got up from the chair and turned his back on Lea. “Get her the hell out of here,” he ordered grandma. Lea lost more than just her Mommy and brother that day. Somehow at only four she sensed it and grieved for Daddy too.
Grandma walked up quietly and took Lea in her arms, held her tight, and they both cried as they walked away.
Three-year-old Lea could tell the moment grandma came to get her out of her crib from her afternoon nap that something wonderful was happening. Grandma was wearing a huge smile and when they went down the hall she could see her mother and father were dancing around the living room laughing and giggling.
Daddy picked her up and swung her in the air. “Well, Lea,” he said, “Looks like you’re going to be a big sister pretty soon.”
Lea had seen her aunts have babies and she knew they came from mommies’ tummies. “But Mommy’s not fat!” she blurted, making the grown ups laugh even harder.
“The baby God put in my tummy is too small to make me fat yet, but it is growing and I’ll be fat pretty soon,” Mommy said.
“Will I get to help take care of my brother, Mommy?” Lea asked.
“And how do you know its going to be a brother smarty pants?” daddy asked. “’Cause we already have one girl so its time for one boy. We have to take turns, right?!”
“Well, we’ll have to see what God gives us, honey. But yes, you can be My little helper.”
For the next several months the whole family was busy getting ready for the new baby. The guest room was changed into a nursery and decorated with jungle animals.
All of Lea’s baby things were brought down from the attic. Lea practiced getting bottles ready and changing diapers on her dollies.
Lea even gave up her crib and started sleeping in her big girl bed so the baby could use the crib. That was a scary thing to do and she was proud of herself for doing it.
Another scary thing was happening at the same time. Her mother was in bed much too often and she had stomach pains. Lea was told that there was nothing to be worried about but something felt terribly wrong.
Sometimes Mommy was so tired she would lie in Lea’s bed and take a nap. When she woke up and was feeling better Mommy would tell Lea Jesus stories. These were special times and Lea learned that Jesus was the Son of God and he had died for our sins so we could all live with him in Heaven one day. Her favorite story was when Jesus had taken a little boy’s lunch and fed 5000 people with it!
Feb. 15th, 1995, an exciting date! Mommy is going to find out if the baby is a girl or a boy! She is going to have a picture taken of the inside of her belly and then they will be able to tell.
Daddy, Mommy and Lea all load into the old Chevy and drive down to the hospital. Mommy had to drink lots of water so the pictures would be good. Because of this she complains when Daddy hits a bump because she has to go pee. This makes Lea giggle.
They get to the hospital and check in. A volunteer takes them to the ultrasound department (that’s where they take the pictures of your insides). When they get there Mommy leaves to put a hospital gown on. Lea looks around and sees lots of other pregnant women waiting to have pictures of their babies taken. Usually, Lea thinks, hospitals are sad places. Places where you go when you have an ear infection or tonsillitis or when you fall off the swing set and hurt your arm. But today the hospital is a happy place. Everyone is finding out if their baby is a girl or boy.
When Mommy comes back into the waiting room Mommy, Daddy and Lea play a game trying to guess what all the other Mommies are having. Mommy has already guessed that hers was a girl but Daddy and Lea think it is a boy. Who ever is wrong has to buy the ice cream for the others on the way home.
Finally it is their turn and they all go squeeze in the small room. Mommy hops up on the table and lies down. The Lady with the Eeyore smock on rubs some gooey stuff on Mommy’s tummy and then starts rubbing it in with a metal tube shaped thing. Suddenly you can see the baby on the TV screen! First its tiny head, then its hand. It’s sucking its thumb! Now the lady is showing Lea where its heart is beating, thump thump, thump. Lea is so excited she is jumping up and down. “Is it a boy? Is it a boy?” she squeals “Well, let’s get this little one to turn a little so we can tell,” replies the technician.
“It’s a boy,” she says but her voice has changed. It’s gotten lower and almost tired sounding. Lea hasn’t noticed it yet but Mommy and Daddy have.
“We win Daddy” “We win!” screams Lea.
“That’s great honey” says Daddy. “Mommy and Daddy have to talk to the nice lady now will you go sit with the kind ladies in the waiting room?”
One of the staff walks over to take her out of the room. Daddy didn’t sound happy. He sounded sad and scared. What was going on? All of a sudden the hospital didn’t feel like a happy place anymore.
Lea sat in the waiting room trying to be a big girl but she was scared and she didn’t know why. She needed her Mommy. She started to cry. The nice lady from behind the desk came and hugged her. It felt good but not as good as when Mommy did it. “Do you know any Jesus stories?” Lea asked. “They always help when I’m scared.” The lady smiled, put Lea on her lap and told her the story of Jesus and the children.
By the time the story was finished Daddy was back. Lea could tell he had been crying. “What’s wrong?” she screamed, throwing herself into her Daddy’s arms. “Why are you crying?” “Is my brother OK?” “Where’s Mommy?”
Daddy said “Mommy’s just changing clothes, she’ll be right back, your brother’s OK right now. The rest we’ll tell you when we get your ice cream OK Hon. Give Mommy and Daddy a minute.”
When Mommy came into the room they all walked quietly to the hospital garage. Lea was grasping Mommy’s hand so hard it hurt, but she was terrified to let it go. When they got to the car she refused to get into her car seat until Mommy agreed to sit in the backseat with her, holding her hand. They went to a drive-thru to get the ice cream, none of them really wanting to be in public and drove home.
When they got home they sat Lea on the sofa between them and tried to explain what they had just found out. “Lea,” Mommy said “You remember how tired Mommy’s been and the bad tummy aches Mommy’s been having?” Lea nodded dumbly.
“Well,” said Daddy, “The doctors have found out why Mommy’s been feeling that way. Do you remember when we showed you pictures of babies growing inside their Mommies and there was that long tube that went from the Mommy to the baby?” Lea nodded “The plasen something it feeds the baby.”
“That’s right” said mommy “The placenta well Mommy’s placenta is very sick. It has a disease called cancer. This cancer can make both Mommy and your little brother very sick”
“Can the Drs. make it all better?” Lea asked. “We don’t know” Mommy answered honestly.
“Will you…Will you.. you die? Whispered Lea.
“I might” Mommy replied as she hugged Lea and they both cried. “But if I do you know I’ll be waiting for you in Heaven”. “Lets pray now” Mommy said. Lea bowed her head and folded her hands. “Dear God”, Mommy said, “I ask you to heal me from this cancer if that be your will but if you have other plans for me I ask that you always remind Lea that I am in Heaven looking down and taking care of the daughter I love so much. Amen”
Lea felt so alone she just curled up in her Mommy’s lap, sucked her thumb (something she had stopped doing months ago) and fell asleep. Eventually Daddy took her and carried her gently to her bed for the night.
The months continued to go on and Mommy continued to grow, as did the baby inside her. On Mommy’s good days they would go shopping for boy clothes for the baby. After all, Lea was quick to point out he couldn’t wear her old clothes. Mommy would ’baby’ proof the house, which meant a lot of Lea’s big girl toys had to stay in her room where the baby couldn’t get them and hurt himself.
On her bad days Mommy would mostly stay in bed and read Lea stories or teach her how to read them herself. The bigger Mommy got the more bad days she had. Lea overheard her parents talking and knew that the cancer thing was growing on the placenta too.
On May 21st Lea turned four. Mommy, Daddy, and four of Lea’s friends all went out for pizza to celebrate. Mommy pretended it was one of her good days but Lea could tell she was very tired. Daddy called Grandma to come pick Mommy up and take her home. Lea didn’t have much fun after that and was glad when it was time for her friends to be picked up.
When she got home Mommy insisted they all come up to her room and open presents. Lea was happy with a new baby boy doll and some new books but Mommy was being really sneaky about the last gift and Lea was super curious about it. Finally Mommy gave it to her to open. Inside was a beautiful Scrapbook Mommy had made all about their life together, starting with the ultrasound picture that showed she was a girl! It had her baptism and all the birthdays and Christmases. It even had pictures of all of them playing out in the snow, Daddy and her playing catch. It was the best gift ever! Mommy seemed really happy for the first time in a long time. She spent a long time telling Lea the stories behind some of the pictures. “This was when you got your 1st tooth! And “This was your 2nd Halloween, you were the princess, I was the Fairy Godmother, and Daddy was the Prince.” Lea laughed and laughed. Daddy watched it all quietly but he was smiling too. Finally Lea went to bed with her book under her pillow to give her happy dreams.
As the last month of her pregnancy went by Mommy became completely bedridden. She was in pain almost all the time. Lea had begun to notice that the prayers had begun to shift from “make me well” to “take away the pain” and sometimes even a direct “take me home.” Lea knew that Mommy and Jesus were the smartest people in the world but she still didn’t want Mommy to go home without her!
Finally on June 7th Mommy told Daddy, “The baby’s coming! Everyone jumped into the car and hurried to the hospital. On the way there Daddy called Grandma to sit and wait with Lea while Daddy went in with Mommy. When they went into the hospital they all went up to Labor and Delivery. Grandma told Lea “That’s where the babies are born”.
Mommy was wheeled into a room with Daddy following so closely he seemed attached to the gurney. Grandma and Lea found a space in the waiting room.
A short time later Daddy came out and told Grandma it was going to be a C-section because they didn’t want to rupture the tumor on the placenta, so it should be any time now. Lea didn’t understand any of that except anytime now and she began to get excited.
What happened next terrified Lea. Bells were ringing announcements were screaming from the intercom and people pushing machines were piling into Mommy’s room while Daddy was fighting as they tried to push him out. She had never seen Daddy fight before, he was yelling words that Lea knew even Mommies and Daddies weren’t supposed to use. For a while you could hear doctors yelling orders and machines whining. Nurses ran in and out carrying bags of liquid. Lea thought she hated the noise more than she could ever hate anything. It made her feel smaller and smaller. But she was wrong. Suddenly all the noise stopped. People started walking out of the room. No one would make eye contact with the family. One lone Dr. walked up to Daddy and said “I’m sorry we did all we could. We lost them both.” The floor opened up in front of Lea and tried to swallow her up. She knew now that the silence was much worse.
Daddy slumped into the chair and cradled his head in his hands. Lea ran to Daddy with her hands up for a desperately needed hug “Are they dead?” she whispered.
Daddy got up from the chair and turned his back on Lea. “Get her the hell out of here,” he ordered grandma. Lea lost more than just her Mommy and brother that day. Somehow at only four she sensed it and grieved for Daddy too.
Grandma walked up quietly and took Lea in her arms, held her tight, and they both cried as they walked away.