Post by percymac on Feb 25, 2012 4:13:47 GMT -5
"Where are the sponsors' booths?" he asked. I hesitated and probably didn't say anything. Did I really need to answer that? We all know where they are, what type of question was that? Before I could answer, he left leaving me to think of myself as stupid. I was just talked to by the cutest actor alive and I ruined it by not being able to say something smart enough to make him laugh. Wait a minute; I should probably get back to my senses now. Hello!! Haven't I always thought that he and his grandfather, who's a writer, were every reason why the comedy plays where so cliché. Wasn't I so against stereotypes and shallow people judging people by appearances? Haven't I always liked people for their personality, why am I turning to this stupid 14- year old adolescent who I know I am not?
He came back. "What is the name of the event again?" he asked.
Is he doing it again? He is the president of our club and the organizer of the event. But I wasn't going to ruin it not this time again.
"It's the mouled event sir." I answered with that curious smile I normally give to make myself laugh (myself has been the only one I could talk to lately). He laughed. His laugh was like a fountain being turned on suddenly. I felt quite relieved as he walked away; I thought to myself "I am not as lame as I thought I was." That was the first encounter we ever had, it was a one minute chat that drew a smile on my face and made me feel like I exist again. As if he knew who I am and wanted to know me better. Or perhaps, he read my thoughts and saw them interesting. Never in my life had someone come up to me and just talked out of the blue. The thing is he did not talk to me reasonably. In fact, he was joking. It takes lots of courage to talk to someone you don't know, but to joke with someone you don't know, must have taken a miracle. Not for him though, he doesn't need a miracle. He walks around having entire confidence that everybody knows him and that everybody wants to talk to him. Yet he is as humble as any one of us. Yes, it was a less than a one minute chat and yes, we never talked again. Yes, he does have a fiancée and yes, she's blonde. Yes, I might've fallen for him for a while even though I thought I was stronger and much duller than that.
He walked in again that other day lecturing us about what to do with our club.
"I would like to get introduced to you at the beginning", he said.
OH NOOO, I have to talk in public again!!! Calm down girl, I said to myself can you let your zero confidence control your life when he is not around for heavens' sake. Start by your name and go on smoothly, it will be over soon.
"My name is Nouran, I am a freshman, I write' I said.
"Then, you're a writer" he said.
No, I am a fireman. I thought. But what I really said was "yes", so pale that I couldn't hear it myself. He did it AGAIN. He didn't comment on anyone else's presentation, it was only me. Why would he do that? I am not half as good-looking as the rest of the girls he knew and definitely I am nothing to be compared with his extra gorgeous blonde fiancée.
Damn it!! I am doing it again. I was never the type of girl who is so sassy that she would make out of everyone who says "hi" a good story. It is all I never wanted to be actually. This actor dude, he is probably one of the people who love talking and familiarizing with people and he was challenged by my silence. Even I myself am sometimes challenged by my silence.
It's weird how people like me never laugh genuinely because they carry so much sadness. They roam the area with that "people suck" look on their face. They pretend they don't care how alone they might be. They say they will never do something as ridiculous as marriage. Yet, the very first time someone pretends he cares, they fall for him right away.
He graduated this year and I am probably never seeing him ever again. He probably won't remember anything about me when he is married and if he ever sees me again he wouldn't recall my name. but I'll always remember him for changing a solid part of me and making me feel noticed again.
He came back. "What is the name of the event again?" he asked.
Is he doing it again? He is the president of our club and the organizer of the event. But I wasn't going to ruin it not this time again.
"It's the mouled event sir." I answered with that curious smile I normally give to make myself laugh (myself has been the only one I could talk to lately). He laughed. His laugh was like a fountain being turned on suddenly. I felt quite relieved as he walked away; I thought to myself "I am not as lame as I thought I was." That was the first encounter we ever had, it was a one minute chat that drew a smile on my face and made me feel like I exist again. As if he knew who I am and wanted to know me better. Or perhaps, he read my thoughts and saw them interesting. Never in my life had someone come up to me and just talked out of the blue. The thing is he did not talk to me reasonably. In fact, he was joking. It takes lots of courage to talk to someone you don't know, but to joke with someone you don't know, must have taken a miracle. Not for him though, he doesn't need a miracle. He walks around having entire confidence that everybody knows him and that everybody wants to talk to him. Yet he is as humble as any one of us. Yes, it was a less than a one minute chat and yes, we never talked again. Yes, he does have a fiancée and yes, she's blonde. Yes, I might've fallen for him for a while even though I thought I was stronger and much duller than that.
He walked in again that other day lecturing us about what to do with our club.
"I would like to get introduced to you at the beginning", he said.
OH NOOO, I have to talk in public again!!! Calm down girl, I said to myself can you let your zero confidence control your life when he is not around for heavens' sake. Start by your name and go on smoothly, it will be over soon.
"My name is Nouran, I am a freshman, I write' I said.
"Then, you're a writer" he said.
No, I am a fireman. I thought. But what I really said was "yes", so pale that I couldn't hear it myself. He did it AGAIN. He didn't comment on anyone else's presentation, it was only me. Why would he do that? I am not half as good-looking as the rest of the girls he knew and definitely I am nothing to be compared with his extra gorgeous blonde fiancée.
Damn it!! I am doing it again. I was never the type of girl who is so sassy that she would make out of everyone who says "hi" a good story. It is all I never wanted to be actually. This actor dude, he is probably one of the people who love talking and familiarizing with people and he was challenged by my silence. Even I myself am sometimes challenged by my silence.
It's weird how people like me never laugh genuinely because they carry so much sadness. They roam the area with that "people suck" look on their face. They pretend they don't care how alone they might be. They say they will never do something as ridiculous as marriage. Yet, the very first time someone pretends he cares, they fall for him right away.
He graduated this year and I am probably never seeing him ever again. He probably won't remember anything about me when he is married and if he ever sees me again he wouldn't recall my name. but I'll always remember him for changing a solid part of me and making me feel noticed again.
