Warning - what you are about to read is shite!
Oh dear, the hour is near! This is my shite day! I knew it was coming.
I spent my time this afternoon eating an oreo and playing with a friend, this is all I got done. But I don't regret time spent in the company of a Jedi Master - may the force be with you! (I think it already is.)
I've also had some wine tonight and I'm done, I have nothing good to post! Hell, I can't even proof it!
Her Whimsical Stick Figure Family
From the back rear windshield of her SUV
the entire world can see
she's done her part in creating art
that paints the perfect family.
A version of her collection
shown proudly in stick figure stickers.
With successful stick wife
and a handsome stick husband,
they can be depicted boating,
pulling their adorable, water skiing,
stick children behind.
Or they can all be shown riding tandem
on a stick bike, with a stick puppy following.
Having fun that they'er not really having.
We'll start with Stick Mommy.
She's sporty, forty,
in shape and fun.
Has a tan from playing tennis
all day in the sun.
Her stick body sports a tennis skirt
and a racket in her hand.
A sun visor to prevent more wrinkles
so her stick figure man won't desire another.
But damn it, they always do!
Or she can be Yoga Stick Mommy
pictured in her favorite yoga stance.
But certainly not downward dog
that would be too raunchy
for this South Charlotte Mommy.
Now, stick figure Daddy
the dud she married
isn't a barrel of fun.
With very few options
he's depicted as a stuffy.
Neat hair on his stick figure head,
he's not good in bed,
and carries a briefcase in his hand.
A tie strangles his neck like a noose
representing his life draining stick wife
and kids he wishes he didn't have.
He longs to be cut loose
from his noose
but will never see the day he doesn't have to pay
for marrying above his looks.
So there he sits, plastered to her rear,
windshield that is,
smiling his stick figure smile,
making his stick figure wife look good.
But she's oblivious to his efforts,
complains he never does enough.
Clueless to his slow dying death
because it's all about her.
And she likes him just the way the stick figure shows,
boring and safe.
Then there's little stick boy
who loves soccer, baseball or any sport,
but when he can, he'll make demands
causing his stick figure parents to jump.
A spoiled rich kid he will be
hell, he already is.
His stick figure parents
afraid of his tantrums
give him way more than he needs.
And little stick girl, so wholesome and cute
with curls streaming down her back.
Loves to dance, and prance.
will end up pregnant.
All because her stick figure dad
didn't teach her to value her body
and keep those lads with big sicks away.
Stick figure puppy simply rounds out the equation
completing the family portrait.
They don't really have one.
Stick figure mommy thought it made them look fun,
so she stuck one up of the pretend stick figure pup.
This wholesome glance at her whimsical stick figure clan,
is simply a moment in time
The stick figure children will raise hell in college and never come home again.
